


We're what killed the dinosaurs

by Useless_sunflower



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, F/M, Song: Our Love is God (Heathers), Thats a Tag?, im literally sniffling so much, ish, my humour is broken, references to Heathers, someone cure my common cold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_sunflower/pseuds/Useless_sunflower
Summary: "Pretty please with sugar on top,”“NO CHAT WE ARE NOT USING YOUR CATACLYSM TO TRICK LILA INTO DRINKING IT!”(Now includes a second, unrelated one-shot about Plagg singing to Tikki about their Partnership)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Plagg/Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Damn I really like the idea of cataclysming Lila

“Mari?”

“No”

“Princess?”

“Nope~”

“Marinette, the awesomest girl in the world, besides Ladybug,”

“Nice try Chat, and why is Ladybug better than me? Oh wait– I hear it now,”

Time to bring out the big guns, his world-famous kitty eyes.

“Pretty please with sugar on top,”

“NO CHAT WE ARE NOT USING YOUR CATACLYSM TO TRICK LILA INTO DRINKING IT!”

“Why not?”

“Oh I don’t know maybe because we’ll both get charged for murder? Or attempted murder, I’m not really sure how this works…”

Ever since Marinette had been telling Chat noir about her recent troubles in school, he’d been visiting every night. Today, after a particularly low blow from Lie-la, she decided she needed to solve this the only she knew how.

 _Taking the high roa_ – Nope that’s just Adrien’s shitty advice.

In fact she was thinking more along the lines of a harmless prank that would scare Lila into not messing with her.

At first Chat was hesitant, wouldn’t she just retaliate if she was targeted? However after some consideration he agreed this that this bitch needed a taste of her own medicine. So now they both sat together, brainstorming prank ideas, with the only safe one so far being: putting her hand in a bowl of warm water.

“I’m telling you Mari, I can get Ladybug to fix her back up if you’re worried about the death part of all of it.”

“NO! I mean no thanks,” She shrugged nonchalantly, hoping her distress from the mention of her alter ego wasn’t too obvious. “Besides, how did you even find out that you could liquefy your cataclysm?”

“Oh that’s a long story, involving a cheese pest demi-god of destruction.” He waved her off and she raised her eyebrows suspiciously.

“Okay so if not Cataclysm, can we try making her drink bleach?”

“CHAT NOIR!”


	2. Plagg's song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plagg sings to Tikki about their undying love for all ages.
> 
> Here's some literal trash to worsen _or_ brighten your day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is completely unrelated to the plot from last time but I didn't want to start a new fic so here's another one-shot using the song "Our Love is God" Heathers
> 
> It's based on a comment from the last chapter by _havingawildtime_ (idk how to tag people lol)

Plagg gets new obsessions weekly. As a bored kwami who has an owner who's hardly ever out of the house except for school, it seems reasonable right? Last month's interests included gory animes, the explorer 'Bear grylls', and shakespeare sonnets (Tikki suffered through the treacherous hours of Plagg reciting reams of poetry in a british accent, _don't ask_ ). Recently he had taken up an interest in musical-theatre. Specifically one musical called _Heathers._

He claims that he likes the dramatic plot ( _"With FOUR people dying sugarcube, can you believe that?"_ ) but really Tikki knew he just liked the romance elements of it since he was caught singing _Seventeen_ in their last meet-up.

what a _cheesy_ fellow

Badum tshhhh

Okay I'll stop now

She was convinced to watch a bootleg version of the play on Youtube...at night...when everyone else is asleep...so naturally, she got dragged into sneaking off and lying to Marinette about her whereabouts. Damn Tikki really? Again? Remember when you got captured that one time.

As they just started settling to watch the show ( _"Is that your owners phone? How irresponsible what if he needs it?" Plagg just rolled his eyes at her uptightness_ ) he decided to warn Tikki that he might start singing but she CANNOT film him or make fun of him. Awww that's so adorable.

_____

He was doing well so far, and the concept was very interesting compared to the shows that their owners usually watch. Until it came to the end of act 1. Plagg's eyes lit up in excitement when the opening notes of the song could be heard from the phone. TIkki groaned, she knew what was coming.

"Oh Sugarcube, this song basically describes us! Listen!" Plagg started singing along with his croaky voice, surprisingly well for a god who's been dormant for 25 years and only got re-activated last Autumn. Tikki decided to mess with him and chime in with her own comments.

_We can start and finish wars_

"No we can't"

_We're what killed the dinosaurs_

"That was all you!"

_We're the asteroid that's overdue_

"I'll make an asteroid, aimed at you." Plagg slightly winced at that. Oooooh ouch.

_The dinosaurs choked on the dust_

"They actually died from their organs being, you know, cataclysmed," she deadpanned

_They died because God said they must_

"Okay that one was half true,"

Plagg grinned in triumph, watching Tikki slap her forhead. 

"Okay lets just end this madness as quick as possible."

"That's not the lyrics," Plagg cackled

And let's just say Tikki rolled her eyes so much that night, that she got a headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY DO I WRITE THESE EVERY TIME I DO PHYSICS WORK

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so every time there's a reference to Plagg killing the dinosaurs, my brain automatically goes to "Our love is God" from Heathers the musical. 
> 
> (If y'all don't know the line is _'We're what killed the dinosaurs, we're the asteroid that's overdue'_ )
> 
> Anyways I was gots to thinking and produced this


End file.
